craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
bitcorn: just saw a guy wearing a nirvana t-shirt lmfao i bet cant even name three noble truths of buddhism
earlgreywind: won’t someone come get nachos with me: an autobiography
lonelywhiteasian: lay nudes at my gravestone, not flowers. flowers will wither away, but a bomb ass booty is forever
i just drank pepto bismol out of a shot glass and that is literally a summery of who i am as a person
When my parents decide to be 'funny' by making fun...
theangelgabrieldidmyhair: The Yahoo people actually coming to look at the site they want to buy
africans: how do i know if this is a jason derulo song or not if only he could let me know in some way
geometricdeathtrap: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it harder better faster stronger You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about! Cha cha real smooth none of you ever touch a penis
pontmercyanide: some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me. and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.” she meant henry david thoreau. i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend
vvyoming: i’m only as strong as my internet signal
kuroenigma: echobo: lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake
first of all, who let me get so emotionally invested in a television show
richwhiteterror: i took a personality test apparently im dead
anotherdoctorwhofangirl: one time when i was 6 my mom caught me trying to eat pure sugar out of the container so she stopped and said “Would you like to have something even sweeter?” and of course little naive 6 year old me said yes yes i would so she said “smell it first and then decide” and handed me a bottle of straight vanilla extract and of course it smelled like the tears of jesus so i...
shippery: I DONT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHO WEAR THEIR SHOES IN THEIR HOUSE
niallhortonhearsawho: a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
how to boys
foie: greet chat chat chat joke joke joke joke compliment appearance compliment personality flirt flirt flirt hug hug hug hug hug hug amorous hug amorous hug first kiss kiss kiss kiss make out make out make out make out woohoo woohoo woohoo propose
shsl-chef: a-felicia-named-goat: shsl-chef: when u Mom com home and make hte spagheti what is this even supposed to mean thats what i do when me Mom com home and make hte spagheti
the-yolocaust: townsvillain: the-yolocaust: ʎɐƃ ɹnoʎ sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı *əɹ,noʎ
chickensandwich: just throw me in the trash